


Tyler and Josh have too many cats

by SoloChaos



Series: Shitty Werewolf AU [3]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Werewolves, a lot of cats, too many cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1204174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a future fic. maybe ten years from now?</p>
    </blockquote>





	Tyler and Josh have too many cats

**Author's Note:**

> a future fic. maybe ten years from now?

 

"Why do we have cats?" Tyler asks, picking cat hairs out of his toast. 

"Because we bought them," Josh says as he checks his email on his laptop. 

"No, I mean-" Tyler gives up on his toast after Patch sits on it. "Why cats?"

"I like cats," Josh says. 

"I thought you'd like dogs better," Tyler says.  

"No, I'm a cat person," Josh says, not really paying attention to Tyler. 

"But you're like... a werewolf and stuff," Tyler says. 

Josh looks up, frowning. "I don't have to like dogs just because I'm a werewolf," he says defensively. "Are you being racist?"

"Racist?" Tyler asks. "I don't think that's the right word." 

Josh scoops up the nearest cat, which happens to be Tilly, and covers her ears. "Daddy's being mean," he says. "Don't listen to him."  

"I'm not being mean," Tyler says. 

"You're being mean," Josh says. "Patch, tell Daddy he's being mean."

Patch stares impassively at Josh from his position on Tyler's toast. 

"You're being weird," Tyler says. 

_"You're_ being weird," Josh replies. 

Tyler sighs. Cricket jumps onto his lap, and he pets her fur absentmindedly. 

"I just like cats," Josh tells him. 

"I've somehow realized," Tyler replies.   

 

* * *

 

The cat thing goes from weird to ridiculous when they get their ninth cat. 

"I feel like we have one too many cats," Tyler comments as they drive home from the shelter. 

"Nonsense," Josh says. 

"We have nine cats, Joshua," Tyler informs him. "Nine."

"It's just one letter away from being none," Josh says. Tyler stares. "Y'know, if you replace the 'i' with an 'o...'" 

"Yes, I know," Tyler says dryly. 

 

* * *

 

"You have a lot of cats," Ashley remarks as she steps into their apartment. "Eight?"

"Nine," Tyler grumbles. "My werewolf husband is ridiculous." 

"My 'ridiculousness' didn't stop you from coming home with three!" Josh calls. 

"Gimli climbed into my grocery bag and I didn't realize until I got home, Mark gave me Sybil, and..." Tyler scowls. "I don't really have an excuse for Cricket." 

"Hah!" Josh shouts triumphantly. 

"My life is so weird," Tyler says sadly. He looks at Ashley. "He gave me a cat for Valentine's day."

"I gave you chocolate too! And flowers!"

_"Tyler, he's perfect! He has a patch on his chest in the shape of a heart!"_ Tyler mocks. 

"Do you know how expensive roses are?" 

Ashley raises an eyebrow, eyeing the photos hanging up on the wall. "You have pictures of all your cats on the wall." 

"I know," Tyler groans. "We have turned into that weird gay couple that has too many cats."

"Pride, brother!" Josh yells. "Pride!"

Tyler bangs his head against the wall.  

 

* * *

 

"We are not naming all of our cats in our Christmas cards," Tyler tells Josh firmly. 

Josh looks wounded. "So we only name some of them? The others will feel left out!" 

"Then don't name any of them!" Tyler says. 

"Why can't we name them all?" 

"Because writing 'Happy Holidays from Josh, Tyler, Whiskers, Blue, Gimli, Tilly, Patch, Sparrow, Sybil, Cricket, and Belle' makes us sound about as pathetic as we really are!" 

Josh stares at him. "I find it really sexy how you can recite all of their names in the chronological order of their adoption."

Tyler blinks. "I need to go lie down."  

 

* * *

  

Josh laughs. 

He laughs so hard that he has to sit down. 

"Shut up," Tyler says, sighing as he sets their tenth, eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth cats down. 

"You brought me four cats!" Josh hoots. 

"No. I brought you three." Tyler cuddles a Siamese cat to his chest. "Emmy's mine."

Josh laughs until he wheezes. 


End file.
